Come back Jeremy, all is forgiven

I’ve just seen the trailer for Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes film and I can already tell that Robert Downey Jr. does not fit my idea of the great man. Jude Law might manage it as Watson and I do prefer him with a bit of facial hair. Watson needs a moustache. He is, after all, a former soldier and a veteran of Afghanistan.

Jeremy Brett’s portrayal has, in my opinion, come the closest to an accurate representation of Arthur Conan-Doyle’s detective. As a child I had watched Basil Rathbone and Nigel Bruce in the black and white film versions and Brett was a complete change. He played Holmes between 1984 and 1994 in the Granada TV series, in company with David Burke and Edward Hardwicke who shared the role of Dr Watson. Unfortunately Hollywood requires a degree of sexiness to sell any film so it is inevitable that Holmes, in the form of Mr Downey Jr., will be baring his six pack to the world. Jeremy Brett didn’t need to do that - we just took it for granted that he was really toned under that waistcoat. And he left the handcuffs to Inspector Lestrade.

Part of the appeal of the Sherlock Holmes stories is their restraint and that would not draw in the size of audience that the 21st century film director hopes to attract. So Holmes has to be seen diving into the Thames from a window in the Houses of Parliament (and I expect certain people currently based there feel like doing the same thing at the moment) and getting physical with an attractive female. The element of uncertainty regarding his sexuality and his drug use made him more interesting and was used to great effect by a number of those who have portrayed him on film and TV. In particular “The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes” starring Robert Stephens as Holmes and Colin Blakely as a comic but sympathetic Watson. A really silly plot line and conclusion but memorable portrayals of the main characters. I also have a soft spot for Michael Caine’s effort in “Without A Clue”. I try not to think about what Rupert Everett did to Holmes.

BBC Radio 4 has provided us with Clive Merrison as Holmes and Michael Williams/Andrew Sachs as Watson, successfully adapting and expanding the original stories. I could listen to those over and over again. Alas the BBC was also responsible for a truly awful television version of “The Hound of the Baskervilles”, another blonde romantic Holmes. You can always tell when the audience weren’t impressed the first time around. It hasn’t been hauled out for a repeat every Christmas since. I expect it sits on the same shelf as the BBC’s ghastly version of “The Woman In White” (what was all that lesbian relationship stuff about?).

My favourite Holmes will always be the one in my head, created through the words of Conan-Doyle. A modern mind taking on the challenges of the late nineteenth and early twentieth century, Holmes uses telegrams and all the other conveniences of his age but is still obliged to walk a lot. I wonder what he would make of the internet and mobile phones. Through Holmes Conan-Doyle gives us an insight into the politics and foreign policy of the time. American themes show a country that still has an exciting wild frontier and hint at the impact of its money on the upper levels of British society. Some women are shown as liberated and independent, others remain fragile and protected. London is a place of poverty, wealth, blackmail and corruption. Spare but evocative, it is no surprise that the Sherlock Holmes stories continue to be read long after his reluctant creator’s death.

And the other reason for preferring the Brett version? I’ve never seen so many aspidistras in one place at the same time.

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